By now I'm used to getting humped in airports. No, not like that. Leave that to Republicans in Minneapolis -- and the odd detective. No. I get humped by paying $3 for a bottle of water and eating horrible food.
The most recent humpage took place this very morning (September 8, 2008) when US Airways wouldn't let me check a bag unless I paid $15. Here is their policy. Now, had I known that, I would have carried two bags, which is free. But I am traveling for business and will be away for two weeks. It's also doubtful that I'll be reimbursed for the baggage both ways.
It comes down to the idea of being stuck and companies knowing that and HUMPING the HEINE off the people who are stuck. Oh, have to travel? How about paying a premium for things you take for granted? I remember the first time I was charged for a meal on a plane.
Let me get this straight... YOU want ME to PAY YOU for a horrible meal? How about here's the church, here's the steeple, open the doors and FUCK YOU!? I actually got a meal on Sun Country Airlines last week when I traveled to and from Minneapolis. I stuffed it down even though I ate a HUGE meal previously, anticipating the charge for inferior food. And, you know what? It was pretty good; better actually because they had me heine over a barrel and didn't even try to hump it.
Kevin's score for Sun Country Airlines: odd name for an airline based in Minnesota.
Kevin's score for Northwest Airlines: Anal Rapists
Kevin's score for US Airways: Anal Rapists with Glass.
The woman at the US Air (aka Anal Rape With Glass Airlines) counter kept going on about on time rates and I'm like, "you're supposed to be on time, it's not something I feel very good about paying $15 for."
Actually that's not entirely true. What I actually said was, "You know what? Stop talking."
PS
I am an award winning playwright and a playwright in residence and it all happened after I flew Anal Rape Airlines to New York for the summer, so I guess it's all good. As long as I don't sit down for too long -- like on a flight to New York...
