Dear Sweet American Jesus. Jesus of the Autobahn. Dear Jesus of car repair...
I will admit that I have been bad. Bad to cars. Many cars had Kevin Six as their last owner before the scrap heap. I ruined a number. I wrecked a bunch. I am so bad for cars that, when baby cars act up, mother cars say, "if you continue acting like this you just might be owned by Kevin Six one say."
And that's just about enough to get the baby cars to tow the line.
I need help, oh, Jesus of the Autobahn. Jesus of card maligned and cricnkled by Kevin Six. Any jesus!
Help! My car, that has been run through the wringer over the past nine years. My car, that has been the victim of two fender benders and one bonafide accident. My poor dear sweet little minivan. Yes, I called it the Big Gay Minivan. Yes, I have about thirteen pounds of sand in it. Yes, It has been leaking oil and, now, water. Well, steam, dear Jesus.
Please make it only be a $1.49 hose. Please, dear Jesus of Motor Oil and Everything Male! Please let me escape yet again without having to pay the value of the car to fix it.
I promise I will be better than I have been to all cars. I am truly sorry and I will change.
Kevin