I have a friend, whom I met through one of the many jobs I do as a professional actor. Turns out that this friend has a partner I know really well. Still, he's more of an acquaintance.
This is someone I trust, respect, like; and someone whose birthday I'd like to remember and whose vacation photos I'd like to see. Nothing more. Up until a few years ago, there was no place to put friends like that. Until facebook came along.
So I now have 800+ fFs or facebookFriends (my own invention, not!) who fit perfectly in my life. Well, actually, I'm one short... Here's a bit of the note I got from the friend I mentioned before:
Hello Kevin,
Recently I had a conversation with UCSD Human Resources where I was advised that it could be seen as a conflict of interest to be Facebook friends with anyone who is working in the (deleted) Program. This is due to the fact that I am solely responsible for making all (deleted) hiring decisions.
Consequently, I will have to “defriend” you as I wish to comply with HR’s recommendations. Please do not take this personally.
Thanks,
OK, so, no problem. Then I saw The Crucible, a blistering rendition co-produced by Intrepid Shakespeare and Moxie at the Moxie Rolando Space. So see it and then remind me to write fan letters to Sean Cox and directors Christy Yael and Jennifer Eve Thorn.
Great play. Great to see a bunch of actors -- some of whom also act at UCSD in an odd little program that I have already been asked not to blog about. And all of them defriended by our fF all because of, what?
I will tell you what. Stupidity! Small-Mindedness! Fear! Oh, and the one thing that makes me so angry: an absolute belief. For example - in the play, a character just didn't answer a question from the court (this is all about the Salem Witch Trials but really about McCarthyism and, now-a-days, could soon be about Tea-Party-ism but you knew that, right?) and was stoned. Had he answered, his land would have been taken by the court.
That kind of stuff. or something like you absolutely cannot be friends on social media with anyone you hire/fire. What was my fF threatened with? Whose rights were tampered with and what rights exactly? I don't know but if I get any madder I will look into this with a vengeance.
Or maybe I'll let it drop. But it seems like I could do a little turn-about on this large, conservative (who knew? body that is now simply motivated by fear to perpetuate, if nothing else, its hugeness, conservativeness; its fearfulness and its absolute belief that they can tell my former facebook friend -- and me for that matter as I am a contractor there -- whom to friend.
Sounds oddly like first-amendment- or even Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness-trampling to me. So here's what I can do:
1. Quit. Tell the big, old, scared, huge institution just where they can stick the thousand odd dollars they give me in a year for (really) having a grand old time because I'm friends with everyone in the department
2. Keep the money coming to me and not the fear machine?
3. Get a fan page for the former facebook friend and have all his former friends "like" it.
4. Write an acerbic, witty and offensive letter to the idiot in UCSD HR, explaining... God, that sounds like a bad idea already.
5. Be a friend to this person and not let any of it bother me.
So! What would you do? Comment on facebook or the blog directly.
